As I turn another year older, I've come to realize that I've accumulated a vast array of knowledge, skills, and paperclips. While I'll certainly be keeping the paperclips, I find it selfish to hoard all of my wisdom for myself; hence, I've decided to dispense advice to all who may seek it. You may ask what my qualifications are - a valid question, I assure you. Allow me to put your mind at ease by listing them below:
I have successfully navigated thus far through life without ever choking and suffocating on ANYTHING, despite eating at least three meals a day and chewing on numerous assorted stationary accessories.
Not only do I possess a college education, but, since I took not four but FIVE years to graduate, my mind contains 20% more academia by volume than most other graduates.
I have, through much deceit and treachery, conned a beautiful woman into marrying me and even allowing me to live in the same house as her.
In high school, I competed on the Matheletics team. The fact that I did so only because my Algebra teacher awarded Matheletes 5 bonus percentage points that I desperately needed to pass the class is, I feel, irrelevant.
I have an office with a door which I may open and close at my leisure, a luxury permitted only to the finest minds in America's workforce.
I am extremely confident that I can eat 43 hot dogs in under an hour, though I've yet to feel the need to provide evidence to this fact.
These are just some of the reasons why I believe I am quite capable of advising you on any situation in which you may currently find yourself. So, without further ado, ask away!
Look man, the glove is always on the floor for you to pick up. If you can eat 43 hot dogs in under an hour without throwing up, I will give you my Max TF2 Hat
This guy on the internet is guaranteeing me a super awesome, really rare helm for a pretty cool video game if I'm able to eat 43 corndogs in an hour and without throwing up. Should I go for it?
Trick question. Everybody knows you can only EFI a 379 and DEI a BBQ. Nice try though. As for the latter portion of your question, I recommend at least 500cc of green label whiskey.
@Falcon:
Only if you know for certain that he's not a low-life cheatin' sunvabitch.
You may be surprised to learn that owning a modern set of any size is perfectly sufficient to call your residence "home." You may have recently become aware of a growing trend among so-called "hipsters" who will leap at the opportunity to tell you that they don't own a television. This is why they look so ragged and filthy; they are, in fact, homeless. If you happen to meet one, I hope you're kind enough to invite him into your living room to enjoy Dharma and Greg re-runs with you. It's a cold, unforgiving world out there.
I am extremely confident that I can eat 43 hot dogs in under an hour, though I've yet to feel the need to provide evidence to this fact.
I too am extremely confident that I could accomplish that task. I do, however, fear that my digestive system would be none too pleased with me for doing so, and likely exact vengeance over a period of a day or two following.
How much time should I spend editing/revising the essay I had to write for my English 3 class, which is due tomorrow? It's about that Galaxy S II ad with the Apple hipsters.
@lane we were required to submit a rough draft for peer review 2 weeks ago in order to receive any credit. I habit not looked at or thought about it since, until Google calendar informed me it is due at 9am tomorrow.
A very happy day of birth to you sir, and my question would be how to handle ungrateful people since that seems like an important skill to master in life (and video games)?
Having been raised as a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant male, I've mastered the traditional art of burying all of your anger and frustration deep, deep within your soul until one day it all spews forth in a fountain of pure, unadulterated hatred.
My cat is overweight. We set him on a feeding schedule and put him on diet food, yet he's still a fatass. He has a vet appointment on Monday and she's going to yell at me for allowing him to become a glutton.
A cat's natural state is one of obesity, much like the Hutts or Kirstie Alley. A skinny cat is not only unhealthy but also untrustworthy - after all, knowing as we do that cats hate humanity and wish to eradicate us, it seems that it's in our best interest to keep them overweight and sedentary.
Trick question. Everybody knows you can only EFI a 379 and DEI a BBQ. Nice try though. As for the latter portion of your question, I recommend at least 500cc of green label whiskey.
Oh, I see. So, I was hoping for a double bypass... what's DEI in the BBQ context?
As for the Whiskey, shouldn't I dial down a bit, I'm barely over 140lbs... (or I was, two years ago, before I met Dunkin Donut and Carney's)
@boocreepyfootdoctor said:
Where can I find a cheap 100 disc DVD+RW DL spindle?
Where do babies come from?
Where's the beef?
Oh, come on, how dare you bother such a wise man for such simple questions?
1. 1401 North Shoreline Boulevard, Mountain View, California
2. Amazon.com
3. He died, drowned in my pool.
But I do have another one: what's your cure for hangover? (I mean aside from 6 tabs of alma seltzer, and banging your head against the wall while waiting for it to pass)
@Greg818
If babies come from amazone then where do dutch babies come from? ( we don't have amazon you see). Also the cure for a hanghover has a lot to do with water and lots of it preferably inside you.
@JoMate: That's a question for "The Man". Yeah, I've done the pseudo scientific stuff, water and fructose supposedly helping, but that's just not working today... might have pushed a bit too far though, I think I've mixed some stuff I shouldn't have. I picked up a fruit salad from 7eleven earlier, you know, assorted fruit chopped into a bowl, but I feel like it's gonna turn up pretty soon, and that's not going to be pretty. At this point I'm gonna have to resort to a screwdriver, that's the last thing left. Man, just staring at the screen is killing me, I can't even play some Forza, moves too much and it's too bright.
@Greg818
Well the thing is you should do the water like right after the drinking, like before you go to bed otherwise its already too late. As for forza only drive the first car you get un-upgraded that should work.
@JoMate: Yeah, that's usually what I do, tall glass of water with the drinks, but I think it just was a tad much, and too many different things at the same time. Still, I'm at a much better place now that this morning, puked a couple times, had a can of coke, took a bath (might warm). Feels better.
Whether or not these were Dodger Dogs is incredibly relevant, since, as we all know, these are the most foul form of hotdog known to mankind.
It's obvious you've never been to France! A Belgian/French fast food chain restaurant that's trying to compete with McDonald's sells some hot dog, believe me the Dodger dog is a master piece compared to those, they taste like they're made of used tampons. I'm not sure it got better with the years.
As I turn another year older, I've come to realize that I've accumulated a vast array of knowledge, skills, and paperclips. While I'll certainly be keeping the paperclips, I find it selfish to hoard all of my wisdom for myself; hence, I've decided to dispense advice to all who may seek it. You may ask what my qualifications are - a valid question, I assure you. Allow me to put your mind at ease by listing them below:
These are just some of the reasons why I believe I am quite capable of advising you on any situation in which you may currently find yourself. So, without further ado, ask away!
Look man, the glove is always on the floor for you to pick up. If you can eat 43 hot dogs in under an hour without throwing up, I will give you my Max TF2 Hat
Happy birthday by the way!
@Greg818:
Trick question. Everybody knows you can only EFI a 379 and DEI a BBQ. Nice try though. As for the latter portion of your question, I recommend at least 500cc of green label whiskey.
@Falcon:
Only if you know for certain that he's not a low-life cheatin' sunvabitch.
@lane: How big of a TV does a man need to call his house a home?
@Conmused:
You may be surprised to learn that owning a modern set of any size is perfectly sufficient to call your residence "home." You may have recently become aware of a growing trend among so-called "hipsters" who will leap at the opportunity to tell you that they don't own a television. This is why they look so ragged and filthy; they are, in fact, homeless. If you happen to meet one, I hope you're kind enough to invite him into your living room to enjoy Dharma and Greg re-runs with you. It's a cold, unforgiving world out there.
I've just watched this video, what should i do now?
@Metric_Outlaw:
A paste comprising a mixture of baking soda and hydrogen peroxide can be used in lieu of toothpaste in a pinch.
@lane said:
I too am extremely confident that I could accomplish that task. I do, however, fear that my digestive system would be none too pleased with me for doing so, and likely exact vengeance over a period of a day or two following.
How much time should I spend editing/revising the essay I had to write for my English 3 class, which is due tomorrow? It's about that Galaxy S II ad with the Apple hipsters.
@Werupenstein:
Enjoy this related video as you sink ever deeper into the depths of YouTube Hell:
@Matthew:
Whether or not these were Dodger Dogs is incredibly relevant, since, as we all know, these are the most foul form of hotdog known to mankind.
@nickb64:
Your question implies that you have already completed an essay not due for at least another 12 hours, in which case you're already doing it wrong.
@lane:
A very happy day of birth to you sir, and my question would be how to handle ungrateful people since that seems like an important skill to master in life (and video games)?
@JoMate:
Having been raised as a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant male, I've mastered the traditional art of burying all of your anger and frustration deep, deep within your soul until one day it all spews forth in a fountain of pure, unadulterated hatred.
Any tips on where best to put all that naked anger? And maybe some anecdotal experiences you've had with this?
I have also been thinking about using the internet to vent some of this anger would that be advicable, and would it damage my image in any way?
@JoMate:
Youtube comments seem fairly popular.
What should I do?
Thanks,
Flummoxed about my feline
@CarRacer:
A cat's natural state is one of obesity, much like the Hutts or Kirstie Alley. A skinny cat is not only unhealthy but also untrustworthy - after all, knowing as we do that cats hate humanity and wish to eradicate us, it seems that it's in our best interest to keep them overweight and sedentary.
Where can I find a cheap 100 disc DVD+RW DL spindle?
Where do babies come from?
Where's the beef?
@lane said:
Oh, I see. So, I was hoping for a double bypass... what's DEI in the BBQ context?
As for the Whiskey, shouldn't I dial down a bit, I'm barely over 140lbs... (or I was, two years ago, before I met Dunkin Donut and Carney's)
@boocreepyfootdoctor said:
Oh, come on, how dare you bother such a wise man for such simple questions?
1. 1401 North Shoreline Boulevard, Mountain View, California
2. Amazon.com
3. He died, drowned in my pool.
But I do have another one: what's your cure for hangover? (I mean aside from 6 tabs of alma seltzer, and banging your head against the wall while waiting for it to pass)
If babies come from amazone then where do dutch babies come from? ( we don't have amazon you see). Also the cure for a hanghover has a lot to do with water and lots of it preferably inside you.
That's a question for "The Man".
Yeah, I've done the pseudo scientific stuff, water and fructose supposedly helping, but that's just not working today... might have pushed a bit too far though, I think I've mixed some stuff I shouldn't have. I picked up a fruit salad from 7eleven earlier, you know, assorted fruit chopped into a bowl, but I feel like it's gonna turn up pretty soon, and that's not going to be pretty.
At this point I'm gonna have to resort to a screwdriver, that's the last thing left. Man, just staring at the screen is killing me, I can't even play some Forza, moves too much and it's too bright.
Well the thing is you should do the water like right after the drinking, like before you go to bed otherwise its already too late. As for forza only drive the first car you get un-upgraded that should work.
What is the circumference of a moose?
It's obvious you've never been to France! A Belgian/French fast food chain restaurant that's trying to compete with McDonald's sells some hot dog, believe me the Dodger dog is a master piece compared to those, they taste like they're made of used tampons. I'm not sure it got better with the years.
@lane said:
Oh no! Didn't see that one, LMFOA!