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How can I break my PC?

Topic started by ShadowSilver on April 13, 2010. Last post by Tony1661 1 year, 9 months ago.
Post by ShadowSilver (3 posts) See mini bio

Odd question eh? So my wife won't let me build my own computer. She says that since I have a computer that is working perfectly fine at the moment that I do not need a new one. However, the one I have now is a Dell computer that is extremely outdated. So how can I break my computer past the point of no return, thus allowing my wife to finally let me build a new top of the line computer?
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by lane (3,602 posts) See mini bio
Moderator
Well, you could start by growing a pair.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by david (216 posts) See mini bio
A good ol' sledgehammer should do the trick.  Be sure to film it.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by ALTF4_FOR_COLORS (128 posts) See mini bio
@ShadowSilver: 
 
Porn sites.
 
SPOILER WARNING: Click here to reveal hidden content.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by ShadowSilver (3 posts) See mini bio

I know that I can take a hammer to it or maybe a magnet to the hard drive, but I want something that will break it so that I can show her and say, "See! I can't fix the problem. I will now build my new computer." Perhaps something that corrupts the OS to always give a blue screen of death or something that fries the ram or video card

Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by ShadowSilver (3 posts) See mini bio
@ALTF4_FOR_COLORS:
She doesn't know a lot about computers and we haven't talked about me building my own computer in a while so...more than likely she won't put two and two together if I break it
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by Voxel (219 posts) See mini bio
I guess if you really want to break it, install LimeWire and download every single file you can find. Then go to porn sites and download as much as you can. 
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by lane (3,602 posts) See mini bio
Moderator
OK, fine. Here's what you should do:
 
Get a soldering iron and melt a few points on your DIMMs. Yank some capacitors off the motherboard with a pair of pliers. Disable the CPU temp shutdown in your BIOS and unplug the fan. Pull the heatsink off your GPU.. Splice a wires from the PSU into your SATA cables. Then, after your house burns down, use the check from the insurance company to buy a new PC.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by Webby (59 posts) See mini bio
If she is a noob just disconnect the Hard Drive and say it's broken and that you can't fix it.  
Don't have to destroy anything that way.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by Havok (30 posts) See mini bio
Online Now
@ Webby
No, that probably won't work. If he yanks out his HDD cable then says he can't fix it, she'll bring it to Best Buy and they'll charge them 200 some odd bucks to 'repair' his broken PC. Seriously, get this instead: 
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/ae83/ 
or you could stick a magnet to your HDD.

 
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by Steve2000 (32 posts) See mini bio
@ShadowSilver said:
" ...So my wife won't let me build my own computer...  "  
  
Lol, if you let your wife tell you what you can and cannot do she better be way out of your league in the looks department because that is the only excuse for getting into that particular situation.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by Jayge (380 posts) See mini bio
Forkbomb!
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by Jadeskye (366 posts) See mini bio
play that space invaders clone that deletes your system 32 files.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by Binman88 (445 posts) See mini bio
@lane said:
" Well, you could start by growing a pair. "
I'm gonna quote this for truth.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by gunslinger (115 posts) See mini bio
Dude don't destroy any hardware, you could use that stuff to fund your new purchases. I'd just try deleting a bunch of registry entries and system files until Windows is fucked.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by lane (3,602 posts) See mini bio
Moderator
@lane said:
Pull the heatsink off your GPU.. Splice a wires from the PSU into your SATA cables.
This is gibberish, who wrote this shit.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by Skytylz (281 posts) See mini bio
@lane said:
" OK, fine. Here's what you should do:  Get a soldering iron and melt a few points on your DIMMs. Yank some capacitors off the motherboard with a pair of pliers. Disable the CPU temp shutdown in your BIOS and unplug the fan. Pull the heatsink off your GPU.. Splice a wires from the PSU into your SATA cables. Then, after your house burns down, use the check from the insurance company to buy a new PC. "
This seems like an excellent idea.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by Gilbert (25 posts) See mini bio
Set up an infinite boot loop with a legit popup message. Probably something referencing the big scary WoRm that was out last year. 
 
Heres a tutorial if you dont know how  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Jw3w1ma8L4
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago
Post by crusader8463 (177 posts) See mini bio
I assume that: 
A) Getting rid of the bitch,
B) Standing up for yourself and spending your own god dam money on what you want,
C) Just doing it anyway becase it's something you want to do and in a loving relationship both partners want to make each other happy;
 
are out of the question?
 

Then I would suggest:

  • Spilling a liquid on it.
  • Adding a few drops of some kind of flammable liquid onto it then setting it on fire to make it appear as if it shorted out.
  • When she's not around get rid of it and then throw some stuff around and get rid of some inexpensive things and say someone broke in and stole it.
  • Make slow incremental upgrades over a period of time.
  • Explain to her that while it may "work" it's outdated to hell and that every time you sit down to use it that it's the computing equivalent to sticking your testicle in a pair of vice grips and tightening them until you hear a light popping sounding.
  • Threaten to withhold sex from her until she lets you upgrade.
  • Threaten to have more sex with her until she lets you upgrade .
  • If she has a pet threaten to get another pet that is a natural enemy to that animal.
 
That's all i could think of off the top of my head.
Posted 1 year, 9 months ago
Post by arca (9 posts) See mini bio
If you've got the money to build one, what's stopping you? I doubt she'd care that much. 
You could always spill a glass of water all over the insides :)
 
Actually scratch that, just back up the files, sell it and build another. No point in breaking those parts because somebody might want them enough to pay for them somewhere.
Edited 1 year, 9 months ago
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